Nov. 6, 2020.
I got out on the Cracked Road really early this morning. The sunrise had just started and it was such a crisp, pleasant cool day. As I warmed up from the walk, it just felt really nice outside.
I had such a long, long walk yesterday, I heard my legs beg me to get to the meditation faster today and get through it with fewer steps. I complied out of respect for my legs.
The newness of each day as it unfolds is like finding a gift waiting for you. There is delight that there is a gift, appreciation of the details of the wrapping, the fingers itching to get inside, and the opening of the contain with anticipation as to what is actually going to be the gift. It is a process. I happen to enjoy the process with a great deal of delight.
Some gifts are just handed to you, just as they are. For myself, these gifts are just as treasured as the hidden gift inside a box wrapped in paper. In fact, I think they are enjoy more. I suppose we have all gotten that really pretty package that contained something rather blah in comparison to the wrapping that it came in. As a child, I remember picking the biggest gift that looked so great on the outside, only to find out it contained underwear. Blah. The tiny box with a gemstone inside was far more valuable. A child once handed me a fistful of pebbles from the Cracked Road because they knew I loved the road so much. You better believe I treasure those pebbles.
My thoughts on the walk this morning turned to the fabric of life and fabric in general. I enjoy the texture and feel and coolness of pure silk. It is a sensual delight to experience. It can be a pain to take care of it properly but it seems to me, to be worth the price. I like all natural fabrics. I like cotton for the breathability and how it warms in the winter and cools in the summer. I am not as big a fan of pure wool, but it certainly was the fabric of choice for me when I was in bitterly cold Montana a few winters ago. All of these natural fabrics have such purpose, characteristics, and unique care instructions to insure getting the most out of what the fabric can offer.
If there is any fabric I am not fond of, it tends to be artificial fabrics such as polyesters or micro-fabrics. They may be easier to care for. They have zero pleasant characteristics for my use of them. I would rather iron a cotton shirt than have a polyester version. Insert scrunched up face I am making right here at the mere thought of those fabrics!
In the fabric of life, there are certainly moments when I wish I had the smooth silky textures making up all of my days. The reality is, my life feels more like a wild conglomeration of a crazy patchwork of colors that sometimes clash next to each other. The textures can be scratchy, smooth, nubby, and worn. The whole of it all can be quite bright in the proper light, or it can just look murky if things are in a faded light. There is everything from blah to wow going on in that nubby fabric.
Walking down the road this morning, I was looking at a few of those textures and thinking how I had tucked some of those into my memories. These memories are so hidden, that it takes something radical to make me realize, I need to neutralize them. I can't take them out. That would leave a hole. Neutralizing them just means putting them in the proper place with the proper perspective and not letting one thread spoil the whole piece. It can be a tedious process, this neutralization. To even find the thread can be difficult. To see it for what it is can take my full attention and willingness to examine it without any kind of judgement.
Today, I began a path of my Cracked Road that is as mysterious as any path I have ever taken on this road. I am moving and that is about all I can say because I am just not sure where it is all headed. Darn, I never am sure even when I am sure I am sure. (That is frequently the case).
The real gems I found on the walk this morning, embedded in my nubby fabric came from nature, as they tend to do. Here they are in pictures.
©JuliaACJohnson 2020
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